her in mother by Rut Novyanti

kuberjalan di pinggiran telanjang kaki, tanggapnya aku bodoh berjalan tanpa alas bukan, bukan karena itu tak takut ku akan butiran pasir di aspal yang basah di tanah yang liat dan kotor kuhanya ingin menyaksikan bulan yang malu tampil lantaran hujan tangisnya yang terisak-isak kuhentakkan kakiku diantara kubangan kecil, kubertanya didalam lirik lagu mengapakah, engkau? rasa penasaranku terus memenuhi kalbu apakah sang bintang meninggalkan bulanku yang sedang mabuk asmara ini?

Jatuh cinta itu tidak semudah turun derasnya hujan sore tadi Cinta itu tidak dengan mudahnya tertiup seperti Dandelion yang melontarkan mahkotanya ke tanah Cinta itu layaknya bunga Teratai yang cantik mempesona namun sederhana yang memiliki akar lebat dikedalaman air yang tak terlihat dalamnya tumbuhnya tak dikira, hidupnya tak dirawat tidak perlu siram,maupun dipupuk dengan sendirinya tumbuh dengan siraman hujan cinta dari langit, dari Sang Pencipta

Tuhan, biarkanlah awan-awan menjadi tameng menutupi kedukaan hati yang hancur di dalam tanah kering terbanjiri hujan yang membuatnya subur Biarkan burung berkicau meramaikan kesenduan tanah ini kala aku di dalamnya menjadi satu bersama pengurai tubuh Kesementaraan raga tidak selamanya berharga kadang ia indah namun tidak lagi jika sudah tidak ada asa dan bernyawa

matahari bisa lihat, meski tidak bisa ngomong memberikan cahayanya, diam terbengong-bengong menatapi semua tingkah orang - orang di siang bolong karena (mereka) hanya bicara-bicara soal omong kosong

Love isn't lust by love the lust comes fondle the fingertips It isn't touching the long - short hair with fake affection It isn't kissing with  faster ambition to repellent saliva in it Isn't cuddling body with dominating control over the noiseless night It's hung with Trust not thirst of Lust that makes it DUST

malam kau membukakan mata burung hantu yang terjaga akan mangsanya malam kau mengindahkan terangnya bulan di dalam kegelapan malam kau menghantarkan mimpiku kepadanya yang tak dapat kulihat dan sentuh Selamat Malam, October 18th 2012

Biarkan tetesan hujan membasahi aibmu Biarkan angin keras mengahantam sedihnya daun-daun hijau Biarkan anak kecil menangis menunggu hujan reda Jalanlah melangkahlah hujan takkan melukaimu Ia hanya ingin bermain - main denganmu Lama tak bersua sepanjang kemarau katanya Kubiarkan mataku tertutup menatap langit dengan garisan senyum rapat kurentangkan kedua tangan kearahnya Air hujan diberikan dari sang Penenun Hidup takkan membuatmu mati jika kau dipeluknya takkan membuatmu membeku di cengkramnya Ia adalah berkat bagi bumi yang kita pijak dan di mana kita kelak di kebumikan ia adalah penghidup mata air bumi kita Duduklah tenang menikmati indah kedatangannya di musim hujan setelah kemarau panjang usai Musim Hujan October 19, 2012

I want to be rose it is beautiful I want to be lily it is calm I want to be Dandelion it is humble I want to be Orchid it is colorful I want to be Jasmine it is fragrant I want to be flowers for you 'till my short life ends

bunga, bisakah kau menahan kuncup mungilmu merekah? bunga, mekarlah selalu dan tampilkan rona - ronamu bunga, cantiklah terus jangan kau layu bunga, jadilah harum mewangi abadi bunga, jangan lemahkan kelopakmu bunga, mengapa tangkaimu kering bunga, kau memang nampak cantik bunga, kau selalu menggoda bunga, berapa lama usiamu? mengapa kau tak hidup abadi mengapa lekas sekali layu mengapa...

pongah sekali dia tatkala ingin kuhantamkan kepalan tangan lemah ini katamu murkaku tak terpadamkan tak pantas parasnya nampak dihadapanku ingin ku harapkan dia ada di dunia asing hilang terbawa angin topan tiada arah dia hilang apakah ada yang kan mencarinya atau menangis sendu sehari

seperti fajar yang menarik pulang bulan bintang lalu mendorong matahari memainkan pagi, yang mengganti papan kegelapan dengan cahaya, yang mengagetkan ayam – ayam ‘tuk berkokok, yang membangunkanku kantuk terasa bergegas keluar dari trek mimpi malam, kelopak berusaha menggeser jendela mata, bibir sudah menarik garisan senyum menyabut hari baru, rongga hidung yang siap menghirup nafas panjang, tangan dan kaki yang sudah tak sabar beranjak, dengan otak yang masih melamun dalam nyenyaknya malam, terpogoh membuka tirai yang menyembunyikan lambaian lemah pohon, seakan ia berkata, “hai, selamat pagi..” senyum yang ku lepaskan sambil membalas salamnya melihat burung bernyanyi sedu sedang, kuutaskan rambut, bersihkan diri, torehkan setitik riasan Tuhan, kubersyukur akan hidup penuh anugerah ini, Apapun di sekitarku adalah sebuah pernyataan dan torehan nyata kalau Kau ada, semuanya tersenyum menyambut hari kami, apalagi di dalam singgasana – Mu yang suci, kami manusia,...

I was made by clay I was shaped by soft touches I was burn by fire to make me tough out of the fire You can use me, to be filled by fresh water, hot coffee, hot tea, ice water, juice, I am ready for all kind of drinks  Take care of me,  wash me, dry me and use me again.. I am glad, I am useful for you, even though I am a little piece of clay I am strong to be filled by hot or cold things, but I am fragile, I am weak, Do not be angry with me, do not throw me out or, I'll be useless, none wants me  some will see me and sweep me away, how can I smile and say good bye in cracked, broken body in sadness, I was swept, trashed in unused stuffs I was made by love, but it's ended in hostility

  couldn't say a word left behind by others   looked like a foolish kid, avoided like diseases   thought what was wrong but, minds were far from mature   little mistakes abandoned grown to be bigger than it was   hit, a stick talked, slapped, the hands's anger poignantly   mouths were used not to say, but to hurt love words, soft hugs were dreams   couldn't you speak with love? rather than had to threaten a child?   what adults wanted? be nice, obedience, sweet child?   even what adults done were not mirrored to what they wanted to a child must be   a child did not need your rude words, she did not need your rough and painful commands   a love, can speak, work, and change hits, slaps, and  hatred ruin someone's heart

some of us were born and are fortunate with papas and mamas who are rich, prosperous pride, education, food, house, fulfilled all abroad, art, love, car, provided all I thinking, how about who aren't? what they do what they get I seeing, some cry sell everything they have since they're born I noticing many though do upper, creative, diligent, changed better I concluding, is not about money, where you are from, but, what effort you done that determines our life

Past is still the past. Cannot you avoid, Cannot you deny. But, past built you what you are now. Cannot you have a beautiful past Cannot you change it all Need years to re-build the cost Look forward, but do not do the past things in the present It has been planted for about all this life? Is not the fruit near to the tree But, the seeds have already been harvested. Will it be picked? Or just let it be rotten? I choose the first choice. There are great future of all. He looks after me, always.

Cloud, this is me, let me set alight secretly, deeply, inside this heart Sun, allow me to sit on the cloud to tell story, to laugh, to cry Sky, do you mind? if this scream loud out, will you be upset.. if no, I'll stay with you

night's horrified and disappointed why is the warmth of the moon not as warm as the reflection of the sun silent calm, anger was muted, sitting quiet, dark heart why do I have to be dark? aah, I fell asleep under a tree, on the grass ah, there's a firefly, he made a beautiful little light, that decorates my loneliness

malam itu tercekam dan kecewa mengapa kehangatan sang rembulan tak sehangat pantulan dari sang mentari bungkam tenang, amarah tak teredam, sepi teronggok, hati kelam mengapa saya harus  menjadi -gelap? aah, biarkan aku tidur di bawah pohon, di atas rumput ah, itu dia si kunang-kunang, ia membuat indah sedikit cahaya, yang menghiasi kesepian saya

Church in the afternoon, walked outside wondered and excited  saw the sun was hidden in the sky did the sun realize? that the sun will never be hidden because it is too huge to be hidden one more thing unique was the clouds helped the sun to hid not silly, not wierd for me.. sometimes it looks so wonderful  sometimes it reminds me a thing something can be hidden  no need to be sought because it's not a game it's found naturally how big the block you have made how long you hid something everything will be known sooner,  later..

Wanita itu bukan layang-layang Kamu harus mengerti itu, Sayang Bukan karena angin mengarah kemana Lalu ia mengikut ke sini, ke sana Saat angin tiada, ia jatuh tergeletak Tidak lagi digunakan, sobek dibuatnya Wanita itu pohon yang mempunyai daun kasih sayang yang kadang rerontokan ke tanah namun tak berhenti tumbuh hijaunya yang memiliki akar pendirian kuat hati yang teguh, tegar dan luar biasa Puji syukur, Gusti Yesus :) Amin

how could you loved me even you'd never know what actually I felt I was sad, not because I did not like you I couldn't lie I couldn't hurt you more Because I know how The feeling of being hurt then I'd never want to hurt you I would let you know that my felling would not lie I liked you, but not like you Imagined, it's different the feeling was not the same Now I am hoping I am praying, you are mature enough to see and find the lover that love you more, then I will smile and be happy for you, my friend *past tells me the history of mine, herstroy :) Rut Novyanti

Tuhan membisikkan kata lewat turunnya hujan kecil Ia mengingatkan aku pada masa lalu Bukan hati ini tidak mengerti perangai jiwa Aku tersedak dalam nafas dalam nurani Bukan aku gusar, tapi aku mau berseru kecil, Tuhan Lama tak terucap kata kecil nan menghibur hati kini Aku tak pernah terpikir lama untuk menyimpan percik api Tak baik, hanya saja mulut ini bungkam bicara Kasih, kau layak sebagai manusia yang pernah jatuh Begitu pula aku, dahulu sakit namun sekarang pulih Kau sudah kumaafkan, sungguh, jernih hati pikiran ini bilang, Aku sudah melupakan salahmu, dan juga melupakanmu Rut Novyanti

Nyanyian rintik hujan membawa malam panjang ini seakan memberikan selentikan kecil yang membangunkan syahdu yang biasanya membuatku terkantuk, kini kuterjaga, ku mendengar- apa yang di katakan sang hujan kepada seisi langit kota kecil ini kepada pohon, rumput dan terutama kepada genting rumah yang ku tinggali. hujan, temani aku malam ini nyanyikan alunan musik riuh kecil, tak perlu lalu, tak perlu dengan amarah 'kan kukerjakan bagianku, kau menjadi pandunya, mengiring setiap kata dalam pekerjaan beratku Rut Novyanti

Saat mata ini melihat Semangatmu meyakinkan, menanyakan Sesuatu hal yang kau rangkai Indah, manis, merenyuhkan, meluluhkan “Maukah kau menjadi pengantinku, Kasihku?” Itu yang kau ucap, manis, aku tergugah Terharu campur aduk bahagia Membungkam mulut dan tenggorokku Untuk mengucap kata, hanya Anggukku dalam dan senyumku sangat bahagia Setelah aku ada denganmu Mahligai kebahagiaanku dimulai Dari permintaan, perintah, kadang mulai bentakan Manjadi santapan harian pernikahan Miris, pilu dan perih, hanya Aku terus menagangguk dan mencoba tersenyum Sesingkat itukah manismu dan rayumu Terperangkap dalam cinta yang seperti neraka Mau marah, tapi teringat cinta.. Aku ini Memang makhluk paling bahagia dan terluka Tahun-tahun berlalu, tak hanya hentakmu, namun amarah Dan kata durja yang kau ucap, kau lontarkan Namun, tangan yang biasa menyentuhku, mengusap pipiku Berubah menjadi hantaman tajam Hati sudah kau lukai terlebih dahulu Berbeda s...

Apa yang sesungguhnya kau cari Apa yang sebenarnya kau lihat, kau amati Apa yang ada dalam pikiranmu, dalam relungmu Apa yang setulusnya kau inginkan di dalam hatimu Aku, wanita yang dididik, dikungkung dalam edukasi Aku, memiliki tangan yang bekerja keras untuk sesuap nasi Aku, bisa kuat berdiri melihat dan juga punya hak memilih Aku, bukan wanita yang bisa dengan mudahnya kau bodohi Banyak hal yang wanita harus lakukan setelah janur melingkar Memasak, mencuci, adalah kegiatan sehari-hari yang terus berputar Setelah lelah, namun harus melayani sesuai dengan ikatan sehidup semati Senang tidak senang, tetap kerjakan, pagi, siang, sore, malam sampai pagi Bukan lagi tidak dimengerti, namun diperlakukan tidak dengan hati Dulu bilang, kalau ini adalah yang pertama dan yang terakhir kali Dusta itu memang bangkai, rayu palsu itu memang seperti belati Bau busuk tercium setelah sekian lama, rasa sakit rasa ingin mati Itu dahulu sampai sekarang, masa...

Awan, janganlah kau cemburu melihat mentari  yang selalu tersenyum megah setiap pagi Awan, berhentilah bimbang akan kesetiaan sang mentari meski tegar tengkuh hidup ini, ia takkan pernah jauh  Awan, apalah arti mentari tanpamu,  kalian adalah pasangan terideal  engan nyanyian sendu angin sepoi-sepoi Kalian bagai materai dan amplop  bukan  berarti selalu melekat sepanjang saat  hanya saja  ini seperti pak pos  yang membuat kalian bersatu sungguh romantika terasa di alam kita tak heran aku menatap penuh perhatian kala aku bertemu Adamku terkasih rasa seperti menjadi satu dengan Pencipta alam semesta  Rut Novyanti

I was too young to know about love I was too stupid to love someone I was too reckless to be loved I was too frail and meager to believe in it I had an affliction pass my mind all the seconds in my flash, gushed this biliousness disturbs my life, my soul what sins I had done, I pray for goodness when he came, with a soft hand held me carefully, talked to me honestly 'bout all the acrid things he said so I wish he is here 'till the rest of life I have hold me, touch me, hug me but please do not hurt even for an inch I need a tough and a gentle guard I want you here to embrace me with love Rut Novyanti

what they say when they peek us do they feel lonely? do they need us? we live in the earth, together with the trees, animals, and many rich nature from all the creations only this blue and green globe which full of creatures in it how about the others?

when I stare to the night sky alone indeed it is beautiful, always it is what to say by this thin lips what to see by this little eyes they are much away from my sight my dreams to reach you just only be a sigh "Aah.." Impossible to find and touch you I texted my love to go out to see all of you even I want to see you and be with you which are so much different from me I and him, we have already been happy to walk together, hold hands along the way no problem if I cannot to be with ya all I have had my own lover, I am not alone remember, my stars, I will never dismiss ya'll I and him here stare and sit to see you Rut Novyanti

terasa ujung jemari menggenggam jemarimu dahulu kharisma antara kasih dan amarah hati terluluh mata terbuka namun tak melihat, manusia bebal hati tidak cinta, benar-benar otak tolol! dalang iblis masuk lewat sentuhan terperangah ketololan dan ketidaksadaran berjalan beriringan saat hati tidak tenang dan tak keruan lihatnya kena kecoh aku rupa-rupanya, siapa dungu? mustajab racun mengecoh seluruh gerak dan pikir andam penampilan walau rupa buruk, lah! tersadar, mata belalak seakan tampak keluar dari kelopak mata, buta aku! Buta aku, bodoh! nampak di mataku lagi! pongah sekali manusia itu! Maaf, terlihat sudah tak padan, tak beriring gesit mata berpaling, ada mata indah hati yang murni roman mendekat walah! apa daya aku, wanita muda terpikat, layak terikat oleh tali cinta yang tak terlihat mata telanjang, terikat hati ini menemukan titik tambah dan kurang menyatu, hati yang murni dan takut kepada penenun tubuh dan hati ini, perencana hidupku Rut Novyanti

A lot of things must be done well Actually live in the life like this is like a life without relaxing event to waste money, to waste time. Time flies, it is not a bird that flies and in the end it dies. Even you died, it clicks all the time. My heart, my love, and my life changes. I like or I do not like, it happens. It does. It is life, that I do not like, nevertheless, I have to like it, or I will die not peacefully with disappointment of my own life. Rut Novyanti 

No time, no clock No God, no creations How can we live without time We can, but we've no idea We only know morning, afternoon, evening and night, what time, what minute, what seconds, we are blind and we'll live in a confusion How can we live without God in us We can, but what kind of life we have? We only know work, write, cry and live happily without meaning, without meaning When we are depressed, only God who knows to give us eternal happiness and the one healer Why He creates time to us because He wants us to be with Him all the TIME even though we are busy, we say we do not have time to read and do His Scriptures, actually we lie, God has already created time for us twenty-four hours per-day, give your Time to your GOD Because He is in His Time, we are His Children, His Love Rut Novyanti loves God :)

Who said we are different?  We are fish, live in the water  We eat, we swim, we sleep in the water  Who dare to say that we are different  I try to swim into the plain water  I am attracted and challenged to be there  I wish I would be the same with the famous koi,  But I cannot, I really do apologize  I will die out there  I will not breath as free as I do now  I am a little crown fish  I am belong to the sea  Together with the starfish and corals  I am 'a' fish yes I am  So you are too,  I have white and orange on me too just the same with ya..  But we are different  Our life, our language, our place to live  Our food and also our friends  It is better if we have our own world  Rutwasthinkingaboutsomethingstupid.

Ability is not a proud Taste is not a luck Hand and tongue to work  and taste from God I get Every slice of onion, garlic Potatoes, carrots and parsley Are the process of life that is tiring and possibly getting cut and bloody Knifes, from Swiss sharply perfect Also the grinders Cutting board, sauce pans, Frying pans are papa and mama who raise and facilitate Salt, black and white peppers, sugar,my soy sauce,  chilies,my cinnamon, lemon juice, thyme  are the completeness of you,  you create taste and aroma in my life Cooking is a huge whole life With the ingredients of rules in Scriptures Singing to praise Dearest Creator Writing to tag stories of Him, love, and life Rut Novyanti ~~again

was born with talents soft heart emotional full of love in mind play barbie dolls set kitchen tools play with the other girls start to make-up study about nature, technology knows about laws, politics scare about society's judgement face with single life in college start to cook at home wash clothes and dishes look after brothers and sisters clean the housewares find a love like find a high wall with many different colors and heights family background, wealthy, careers Religion matters, ethnics get the one, get married separated from people that born her taken away from the first life stand together with soul-spouse new life begins, married life's started wife works at home, husband works outside practice all her mother's theories to be housewife about how to manage kitchen, love, and life  A new small cute live in this family mood of hormonal increases and became problems Be angry and be sensitive are favorite terms used wanna be kissed and loved also hugged by hu...

I like to quote this sentences below, what a scary life, what a real life is. Happen here, happen everywhere. I say I have no more love to give! I have only anger in my heart today, I want you to be angry with me! Now I am sick and I am tired, I want you to be sick and tired with me. I, I, I, I am sick and I am tired of going to the funerals of black men who have been murdered by white men! I... I am sick and tired of the people of this country who continue to allow these things to happen! What is an "inalienable right" if you are a Negro? What does it mean, "equal treatment under the law?" What! What does it mean, "liberty and justice for all???" Now I say to these people: "Look at the face of young man and you will see the face of a black man. But, if you look at the bloodshed, it is red. It is like yours! It is just like yours!!!!" -- Mississippi Burning

Beauty eyes, white skin Beautiful body looked Like Espanyola Guitar High heels, branded purses Sexy, like run out fabric fashion Hide face with million maquillage Look for only on very classy class For every fabrics, fashion Shoes to be stepped then All will be rubbish at last! Eyes stare on sale shopping Sale to consume stuffs Will stuffs make any better life? What you see Money it is Luxurious it is Stuck in mind only Oh, sweet heart Money's everything One more last thing If ya want me, remember Remember, Sweetheart No Money, No Love Money cash, I'll give you me That's the deal, deal? Rut Novyanti February 08/12

Pretty girl, your anger looked like FIRE Beauty, don't you TIRE? Nice girl, you shouldn't say any word like FUCK Good girl, you should know that is bad and SUCK You are too PRICELESS To say any words which are USELESS Rut Novyanti in Annoyed with stuffs :) haha

What you have on you is what you are proud of Long hair, glossy Short hair, shiny A man touches and smells Big eyes, sharp Small eyes, unique A man stares and winks Pointed nose, nice Small nose, precious A man chooses with love not nose Slender belly, fine Big belly, special A man thankful has a woman like you Black and brown, strongly amazing White and yellow, wonderful A man is impressed Oval and big lips, sensual Thin and small lips, lovable A man loves to kiss Small and gentle hands, pretty Big and strong hands, hard worker A man would love to hold Small hips, shape beautiful Big hips, marvelous grace A man still want you to be his What you are afraid of As you already have your true love True man, lovely one A man loves, knows, and understands A man is not a boy any longer His love isn't lust, you won't regret ...

Rut Novyanti : "I am thankful for having him as my boyfriend I am thankful for his wonderful and full of schedule life I am thankful for what's going on between me and him I am thankful for loving him without regrets." 'via Blog this'

Loving someone means being hurt Trying to do something means ready to lose Living in the world means ready to die

No ring No gold No pearl No jewel No bracelet No necklace No diamond Women are worth with the super elegant, priceless and rich of those stuffs inside their heart, mind, and behavior

How could I speak English Even I couldn't speak well in Indonesian How could I cook deliciously Even I only could eat How could I say even a "word" If you talked too much How could I think If you dictated me about anything How could I stand up and walk If you always held my hands all the time How could I know what is happiness If I was hurt all the time How could I feel about love If you never told me I can erase the "IF" words from my sentences I can speak also say in my words like swords I can set my mind as sharp as an sharpener I can wake up like a cock in the morning I can be a dandelion then I'm gone I can be wiser like rice in the field I can be a brainy woman I can be submissive I can be lovely I can speak I can listen I can cook I can cry I can do

When I know that you love me I learn how to love you Then I understand how to melt your heart inside After I know and understand all about you I am the first woman of yours, who knows how to HURT your heart But I choose not to hurt you because I've already said, "When I say that I do love you, I won't HURT your heart!" That's the commitment! Rut Novyanti :)

Ruth's : 'via Blog this' Mulut lo kaye ember Salah! ember bocor Mulut lo emang dower Kaya keran terus ngocor Muke lu mengganggu Diomongin orang bukannye sadar Malah masih KAGA TAU MALU Baru tau di gampar langsung modar Ati-ati ente kalo omong Jidat gede mestinya isinye otak Bukan kaye elu, otak adanye di bokong Punya jidat gede mikirr!! jangan kaya orang ga punya otak